Category Archives: HUMANITY

AUTHORS, BUSINESS, HUMANITY, LEADERSHIP, PERSONAL GROWTH

Stacey Hanke: How to achieve real influence, moving people to action long after the interaction is over

Joined in studio today by Stacey Hanke, Founder/Owner of Stacey Hanke Inc., and author of Influence Redefined: Be the Leader You Were Meant to Be, Monday to Monday.

Discussion guide from our conversation with Stacey Hanke:

Stacey Hanke1. How do you define influence? What are the myths of influence?

2. Why do most people believe they are more influential than they really are?

3. What do you mean by being influential, Monday to Monday?

4. What are the top challenges people face that prevent them from being as influential as they can be?

5. What are the three drivers of influence?

6. Explain the Influence Model you teach in the book. How, and why, does it work?

You can find Stacey Hanke’s book here:

About Stacey Hanke:

Stacey Hanke is author of the book; Influence Redefined…Be the Leader You Were Meant to Be, Monday to Monday®. She is also co-author of the book; Yes You Can! Everything You Need From A To Z To Influence Others To Take Action.

Stacey is founder of Stacey Hanke Inc. She has trained and presented to thousands to rid business leaders of bad body language habits and to choose words wisely in the financial industry to the healthcare industry to government and everyone in between. Her client list is vast from Coca-Cola, FedEx, Kohl’s, United States Army, Navy and Air Force, Publicis Media, Nationwide, US Cellular, Pfizer, GE, General Mills and Abbvie. Her team works with Directors up to the C-Suite. In addition to her client list, she has been the Emcee for Tedx. She has inspired thousands as a featured guest on media outlets including; The New York Times, Forbes, SmartMoney magazine, Business Week, Lifetime Network, Chicago WGN and WLS-AM. She is a Certified Speaking Professional—a valuable accreditation earned by less than 10% of speakers worldwide.

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CONTRIBUTORS, HUMANITY, LIFESTYLE, WINE

Hungry for This Wine: The Wine for Transitions: Donnafugata SurSur 2016

The Donnafugata SurSur is a transitional wine, and I do not mean that it’s the wine that’s in transition.

Donnafugata SurSurIt’s us who are transitioning, and this is the wine that is bridging us this week from one place to the next. Literally. We are moving houses, from one part of the city to another and, though we left most of our wine in the “old” house for now, this wine made the cut of the very few bottles that we hand-carried on our move.

Here’s why I’m that hungry for this wine.

We live in Atlanta, and it’s the month of July, and it is hot. As in, sweltering. In the midst of that heat is the physicality of moving heavy boxes and bulky furniture, and making 537 decisions about what needs to go where inside a new home that we don’t yet know.

It is all, in a word, exhausting, even for someone who enjoys the karmic shake-up and editing process of a move.

So I knew that, at the end of the day, I would want something cool and refreshing and, especially in these conditions, white and crisp.

That’s one reason that the Donnafugata SurSur made the cut.

The second reason has two parts: it’s from southwestern Sicily (Sicilian wines are all the rage right now, thanks to a major surge of interest in volcanic wines from Mount Etna), and it’s made from a native grape (Grillo) that is mostly unfamiliar to me.

Being Sicilian and unfamiliar raised the chances significantly that I would be interested in this wine even though I may have been too tired to be interested in much.

And then there were the bonus points. Its low alcohol (12.73% ABV), with just enough body without ill-timed weight or heft, and fruit and florals (which I love) on the nose. There is also a clever naming convention that, among my “tougher-minded” friends, I’d be embarrassed to admit that I find adorable. In addition to being the name of an ancient indigenous Sicilian grape, “Grillo” is also the name for the cricket, which brings good luck. “SurSur” means cricket in classical Arabic, which was once also spoken in Sicily.

That’s a lot going on for one bottle of wine that made our very short-list transitional cut.

I placed a bet that I would – still – be hungry for this wine, even in a time of transition. And that bet paid off.

This wine reminds me why I love wine. Which reminds me why I love living my life. Which reminds me of all the thousands of things I’m grateful for, including moving and fresh starts and the luxury of relishing a glass or two of thirst-quenching wine at the end of an exhausting experience.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS WINE!

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Find Cathy Huyghe’s book here:

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CONTRIBUTORS, HUMANITY, MARKETING

Things I learned from being nice on social media

A few months ago, I decided to ONLY be nice and positive on social media.

I made this decision for two reasons: One, I grew tired of spewing my own social media venom; and two, because I grew increasingly tired of observing others doing the same.

Online, all far too many people seem to know how to do is SCREAM all day long; bitching and venting about this and that. It never seems to end.

Personally, I no longer wanted to add to the noise.

In terms of my past online behavior, this largely manifested itself in two ways: One, I bitched, moaned, and complained when a brand or organization wronged me (at least in my opinion); and two, I injected my political opinion into the wider dialog around a specific political news event or policy discussion.

At the end of the day, this was getting me nowhere. I needed to stop. I was getting frustrated. And it was causing unnecessary stress and anxiety.

And the spiraling behavior could only be dealt with by feeding it more. And more. And more. The process would never stop.

In the end, I decided that I needed to model better behavior online, the kind of behavior I’d prefer to see online, at least from others in my various social networks. I realized that I cannot control the whole internet, but I can control what I do and whom I follow online.

So, in addition to my stopping my own venom, an important part of the work was also to distance myself from people doing specific things online, activities that would ultimately provoke me into responding, or at least commenting. This would usually be something not very nice. Or at least not optimistic or supportive.

I grew weary of people picking political fights just for the sake of picking fights (not because they had a legitimate or principled stand on any actual policy position). They just relished the fight and heated, angry debate.

I grew to dislike people who stirred up trouble and controversy, not because they believed strongly in the issue, but because they wanted to have 100 people comment on their post, and stir the pot within the comments. It was more about the action there.

I also tired of people who spent twenty-four hours a day complaining about brands. Endlessly. It really came to a head for me when United Airlines had its unfortunate experience of dragging the poor fellow off the plane. It felt to me that people relished the chance to pile on to a brand who had done wrong…not to necessarily voice deeply-held, principled opinion, but rather, they loved the schadenfreude. That made me sick. I unfollowed more people after that incident than any day since. And have been a shadow of my former self on Facebook since that incident.

And when one controversy ends, they wait and pile on the next brand that does wrong.

On the occasion that I did offer my thoughts and opinion on a matter of political opinion, people would jump at the chance to shit on my opinion. No, these people never commented or engaged with anything else I did online, but jumped at the chance to smack me upside the head when I offered something political. It was almost like they were lurking in the shadows waiting for me to say something…

Finally, and most frustratingly, I no longer wanted to observe people complaining about their lives (and doing nothing about it).

All these behaviors combined, grew very, very tiresome. And I was tired of feeding it all with my own venom and vitriol.

So now, when someone acts in this way on any of my networks, I unfriend and unfollow, or disconnect however appropriately. It’s not personal, really, but I just don’t have time for it.

So, here are the basic guidelines I’ve made for myself:

1. I will no longer complain about brands online. I will contact the brand directly if I have a complaint that warrants further action.

2. I will not discuss religion or politics. I will conduct face-to-face, offline debates with people who are interested in understanding my point of view on an issue; not with people who just want to shout louder than I can.

3. I will not engage on someone’s post to disagree and debate. If I feel strongly enough to discuss it with them, I will do so offline.

4. When there is a big controversy that has got everyone commenting and offering their opinion, I will simply unplug, get offline, and read a book.

So what will my behavior look like? Well, I’m going to post lovely photos of my hometown, the food we eat, the travel I do, our crazy dogs, share music I am listening too, and document my marathon training (which is taking more and more of my time).

And of course, I will continue share the results of the work from my media company: Our interviews, client work, our business series, and other fascinating material generated on our platform from our collaborators.

Some of you might find that boring. But I make no apologies, because that’s my life. You’ll engage with it, or you won’t. I won’t lose any sleep over it.

So, how’s it going so far?

Well, for several months, I haven’t been negative, haven’t complained publicly to and about any brands, have ignored and/or unfollowed anyone who has been politically nasty, and disconnected from most people who spent all day long complaining about people, brands, and their life.

I will admit, it wasn’t always easy. In today’s crazy political climate, it wasn’t easy to keep silent, especially in the face of some pretty repellent behavior, commentary, and media coverage.

But I did it. And now, it’s like I’ve gone through detox. I no longer miss it. It’s easier and easier to disengage and not pay attention to all the childish antics and behavior.

Here are my key lessons learned and (sometimes surprising) observations:

1. Assholes have stopped picking fights with me. This alone was worth the effort.

2. I’ve literally stopped sending dozens and dozens of tweets complaining about things. Nothing ever really comes from doing this anyway. And I don’t even really feel better after doing it either.

3. When I do make a comment on something now, I have to put a positive spin on things. This changes how I react to situations, and that’s a good thing. I am more optimistic and positive, rather than negative. Big, positive mindset shift!

4. I have become more proactive on these channels, rather than always reacting to people stirring up trouble. This affords more control to my personal messaging.

5. Similarly, this has made me a better journalist myself, as I am no longer reacting to poor journalism. And I am learning what NOT to do myself.

6. I had long felt required to follow provocative people just to be able to react to them. Now, I can simply unfollow them, get their vitriol and poison out of my life, and stop wasting my precious time.

7. I’ve learned how to discern real news, rather than trying to count on untrustworthy sources to get their opinion on the day’s events.

8. When I personally stopped pouring gas on the fire, a lot of the negative crap went away, at least in my world (which saved me a lot of anger, time, and stress).

9. Instead of taking so much of this crap personally, I can now laugh at most people online, and realize how foolish they are acting. It now amuses me, rather than infuriates me. My blood pressure has gone down significantly.

10. I’ve learned how relatively unimportant social media is. For as a result of my decision, I spend a lot less time on social media, and much to my surprise, I really don’t miss it.

11. At first, the urge to go negative was strong. But over a couple of months, that same urge has largely gone away, and now, I couldn’t be bothered. I’ve got more important things to do.

12. And WOW the time I have saved from not getting dragged into useless, pointless debates with people whom I will NEVER convince otherwise. That time can now be spent on positive activities, at least for myself.

So, those are my key findings from being nice on social media for a couple of months.

As I’ve said before, I won’t judge people for how they act online. The beauty of these digital channels is that you can utilize them however you see fit. So, far be it from me to judge people on platforms such as these.

Do as you will, and as many have continued to do, do your worst. But for me, I’m over it. I don’t have time for that anymore.

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AUTHORS, BUSINESS, HUMANITY, PERSONAL GROWTH

Mark Youngblood: How to master and manage your emotions, and why that matters

Joined in studio today by Mark Youngblood, the founder and CEO of Inner Mastery Inc., and author of Dear Human, Master Your Emotions.

Discussion guide for our conversation with Mark Youngblood:

Mark Youngblood1. Understanding your emotional triggers.

2. Do you have an emotional vision?

3. Negative voices and negative emotions.

4. Understanding the roles of your conscious “Pilot” and sub-conscious “Autopilot.”

5. How to manage your emotional reactions in a healthy way.

6. How creating your reality can give you the power to create the life you want.

7. Separating fact from fiction about your emotions.

You can find Mark Youngblood’s book below:

About Mark Youngblood:

Mark is a lifelong student, and is a teacher and facilitator of Inner Mastery. His life purpose is to elevate human consciousness and promote spiritual growth, individually and collectively. He founded his company, Inner Mastery, Inc., 20+ years ago to promote personal and organizational transformation. His outreach presently includes executive coaching with top management, the Inner Mastery Community, Dear Human series of books, public speaking, and special workshops.

Mark is a Master Practitioner and Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming who has read, studied, and practiced extensively in the art and science of personal transformation and spiritual growth for nearly two decades. His previous books are Eating the Chocolate Elephant: Take Charge of Change, and Life at the Edge of Chaos: Creating the Quantum Organization.
Mark is a proud father and stepfather and is married to his high school sweetheart after 30 years apart. He loves to travel and is an avid fine art photographer.

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AUTHORS, BUSINESS, HUMANITY

Dr. Jody Foster: How to deal with the schmuck in your office

Joined in studio today by Dr. Jody Foster, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, and author of The Schmuck In My Office: How To Deal Effectively With Difficult People At Work.

Discussion guide from our conversation with Dr. Jody Foster:

Jody Foster1. Tips for identifying difficult and disruptive behavior at work.

2. Why she believes people in general lack inherent malicious intent and don’t set out to be disruptive…yet are anyway.

3. Strategies for interactions and tips for interventions when dealing with the office “schmuck.”

4. Call out what you see, when you see or feel it: why early action is key when dealing with disruptive workplace behavior.

5. What to do if your boss turns out to be a “schmuck.”

6. Detailing characteristics of the difficult workplace personalities including Narcissus, the Venus Flytrap, the Bean Counter, the Robot and more!

7. And most importantly, if you cannot identify the schmuck in your office, YOU’RE THE SCHMUCK!

Find Jody Foster’s book below:

About Dr. Jody Foster:

JODY J. FOSTER, MD, MBA is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, Vice Chair of Clinical Operations for the Department of Psychiatry in the University of Pennsylvania Health System, and Chair of the Department of Psychiatry at Pennsylvania Hospital. Her clinical practice includes general psychiatry, with a special emphasis on treating acute inpatients, psychopharmacology, and corporate development that provides support and evaluation services to executives.

Dr. Foster completed both a residency and a chief residency in psychiatry and a fellowship in clinical psychopharmacology and mood disorders at The Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital. She also attained her masters of business administration, with a concentration in finance, from the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Foster serves as the Executive Medical Director of Penn Behavioral Health Corporate Services and leads the Professionalism Committees at the member hospitals of the University of Pennsylvania Health System. She manages the Professionalism Program at Penn Medicine, a publicly offered consultation service, as the Executive Clinical Director.

Dr. Foster is a noted educator and has received numerous awards for clinical excellence and teaching at the University of Pennsylvania. She was elected to Penn Medicine’s inaugural class of the Academy of Master Clinicians and has been named a “Top Doc” by Philadelphia Magazine.

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BUSINESS, HUMANITY, PERSONAL GROWTH

Part 3: The Pursuit of Happiness with Dr. Daniel Crosby

Part 3: Guest Dr. Daniel Crosby in a new #KeyPointPodcast series discusses truths behind individual happiness and the impact of money
iHR logo

HR Latte, episode 112


Series:
 The Pursuit of Happiness

“While wealth is positively correlated with wellbeing to a point, disconnecting money from purpose is a formula for emotional bankruptcy.” – Dr. Daniel Crosby

In a follow up to his post, “Can Money Buy Happiness? Sort of.” Dr. Daniel Crosby, Ph.D. explores the ideas of how we pursue, find, and hang on to happiness. And, interestingly enough, money can be a factor. In this series, Dr. Crosby and Rayanne will break down how genetics can impact this individual pursuit.

Dr. Daniel CrosbyDr. Crosby is the author of The Laws of Wealth: Psychology and the Secret to Investing Success, additionally, he is the founder of Nocturne Capitol, an investment management firm whose approach is rooted in the science of behavioral finance.

Join us in this series, as we look beyond what we’ve always thought about the truth of happiness. Rayanne published, The Pursuit of Happiness: Like a Room Without a Roof, which ties in nicely with this series.

Discussion Points for this episode, Part 3:

  • The Good Behind Money
  • Choosing Experiences over Things
  • Charitable Giving: Is it Selfish?
  • “Fake it until you make it” – How best to give.
  • The Laws of Wealth, available on Amazon “300 Pages of Behavioral Finance Goodness
  • Connecting Money to Purpose
  • And again, check out The Five Facets of Happiness, by Martin Seligman

Series
Part 1, The Pursuit of Happiness
Part 2, The Pursuit of Happiness
Part 3, The Pursuit of Happiness

On Twitter

@DanielCrosby
@Ray_anne
@HRLatte
and @intrepid_NOW

*Click here for past Episodes 1-66

HRLatte is made possible by:

Dovetail Software logoDovetail Software delivers web-based solutions & help desk programs that enable organizations to reduce administrative & support costs, diagnose & resolve complex business problems, and increase efficiency, while improving support.

Rayanne loves hosting talk radio and continues to hone this craft in every way possible by creating and hosting several educational and promotional radio shows, hosting & moderating webinars and podcasts, as well as a featured host on intrepid.media.

For more information about how you can use online radio or podcasting to educate your target audience or customer, compliment your marketing efforts, and grow your brand recognition, feel free to message Rayanne on Twitter, LinkedIn, or via email at rayanne@intrepid.media.

BUSINESS, HUMANITY, PERSONAL GROWTH

Part 2: The Pursuit of Happiness with Dr. Daniel Crosby

Part 2: Guest Dr. Daniel Crosby in a new #KeyPointPodcast series discusses truths behind individual happiness
iHR logo

HR Latte, episode 111


Series:
 The Pursuit of Happiness

In a follow up to his post, “Can Money Buy Happiness? Sort of.” Dr. Daniel Crosby, Ph.D. explores the ideas of how we pursue, find, and hang on to happiness. And, interestingly enough, money can be a factor. In this series, Dr. Crosby and Rayanne will break down how genetics can impact this individual pursuit.

Dr. Daniel CrosbyDr. Crosby is the author of The Laws of Wealth: Psychology and the Secret to Investing Success, additionally, he is the founder of Nocturne Capitol, an investment management firm whose approach is rooted in the science of behavioral finance.

Join us in this series, as we look beyond what we’ve always thought about the truth of happiness. Rayanne published, The Pursuit of Happiness: Like a room Without a Roof, which ties in nicely with this series.

Discussion Points for this episode, Part 2:

  • Money does not directly connect to “meaning”
  • “What is the meaning of life?”
  • You can only answer for yourself
  • Looking beyond DNA
  • Can we blame capitalism for the “lack of happiness”?
  • The Scientific Approach to Real Joy
  • The Five Facets of Happiness, by Martin Seligman

Series
Part 1, The Pursuit of Happiness
Part 2, The Pursuit of Happiness
Part 3, The Pursuit of Happiness

On Twitter

@DanielCrosby
@Ray_anne
@HRLatte
and @intrepid_NOW

*Click here for past Episodes 1-66

HRLatte is made possible by:

Dovetail Software logoDovetail Software delivers web-based solutions & help desk programs that enable organizations to reduce administrative & support costs, diagnose & resolve complex business problems, and increase efficiency, while improving support.

Rayanne loves hosting talk radio and continues to hone this craft in every way possible by creating and hosting several educational and promotional radio shows, hosting & moderating webinars and podcasts, as well as a featured host on intrepid.media.

For more information about how you can use online radio or podcasting to educate your target audience or customer, compliment your marketing efforts, and grow your brand recognition, feel free to message Rayanne on Twitter, LinkedIn, or via email at rayanne@intrepid.media.

HUMANITY, PERSONAL GROWTH

Jay Bailey: Build as you climb

Joined in studio with my New Business Mindset co-host Gareth Young and our guest, entrepreneur Jay Bailey.

Some key takeaways from our conversation with Jay Bailey:

Jay Bailey1. “Build a staircase. Make that your life’s purpose. Because long after you are gone, people can still climb up.”

2. “Build as you climb.”

3. “Find the balance between heart and head.”

4. “A lack of “exposure” is a cause for poverty and low self-esteem.”

5. “PhDs are good, but PhDOs are better.”

6. The how and why of developing your mantra.

7. “What are you passionate about?” And what to do if you don’t have an answer.

8. “Get into your zone, that state of higher consciousness. When you find your passion, you long to get into that state. And that’s when life becomes powerful.”

9. “Finding your true, authentic swing.”

10. Importance of slowing down. And by doing so, it becomes easier to identify the proper path.

11. People love to watch those in the zone, those with a true, authentic swing. Communities can be built around such people. But humanity also presents itself when someone like that fails. It humanizes them, and we then bond together to lift everyone up.

This interview was originally published at GarethJYoung.com’s New Business Mindset, a show produced by intrepid.MEDIA.

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CONTRIBUTORS, HUMANITY

How to achieve better results on social media, at least for me

To achieve better results on social media, I’m changing my approach to how I spend my time there. Effective immediately.

I’m fed up with the nastiness. I’m fed up with the near constant negativity. I’m fed up with people using the platforms to complain about everything, and I mean everything. And I am really fed up with people who instigate combative debate just for the opportunity to tear people down and pick a fight, or to say something mean, just because they can.

I’m not innocent in this.

Online, I’ve complained about the media. I’ve complained about Hollywood. I’ve whined to airlines and the TSA when I have travel issues. And I’ve certainly offered my opinions and frustrations on politics.

But I’m done with that. And frankly, no one is listening anyway. They’re too busy complaining or tearing down. Too busy trying to shout louder than their (perceived) rival on the other side. And honestly, my bitching accomplishes little, other than to give a few unhappy people the chance to hit me right back, and me the phony satisfaction that I’ve gotten something off my chest.

What am I focusing on instead? My life in Chicago: my wife, my nutty dogs, my foodie adventures with Stephanie, my local experiences living in our beloved city, and of course, my ups and downs with training for the Chicago marathon.

In other words, I am going positive.

That’s what I’m personally doing. In the end, you will observe some of my life, or you won’t. And if you don’t, so be it. I know you have your own life to live.

Life is short. Life is precious. I am happy. And I’m going to celebrate it – I am no longer surrounding myself with negative.

And of course I will continue to share the work of my little media company: telling the stories of the people and organizations teaching us to be better at business, practicing our humanity, and improving our lifestyle design.

In terms of the social platforms themselves, here’s where I stand:

FACEBOOK. I’m hardly active there anymore. Too many people complaining 24/7. And it’s all memes now. Or the results of silly games to see what your Christmas Elf name should be, or what foreign country is truly right for you. Not judging if this kind of stuff is interesting and fun to you, or worth your valuable time. It isn’t to me.

I’ll see you around the FB neighborhood from time to time, but not often. There are still people here that I care about and will look in upon from time to time.

TWITTER. Becoming increasingly irrelevant to me. Why? Because unless you are Donald Trump or some big celebrity, no one is paying attention to you anymore. Shame the platform evolved that way. Just a PR tool for celebs. And frankly, half of them are paid to do it anyway.

Yes, I met my wife on Twitter. Probably the only reason I’ve stuck around this long. I sometimes wonder if Stephanie and I would have even connected on Twitter if the year was 2017, instead of 2009.

INSTAGRAM. This is my new home on the social web. This is where I can best tell my story and chronicle my life. This is where I can best observe and engage with others trying to do interesting things with their lives. Here on this platform I can still be inspired by others, and that’s what I value most. Things seem simpler and less complicated. Find me on Instagram here!

Oh sure, there are negative and nasty nabobs on Instagram too. But much, much easier to ignore them here.

And, if I am being honest, most of what I share to Facebook is fed through Instagram in the first place…

TO RECAP: I’m done with negative people on social media, and I’m committed to stop being negative on social media.

I’m done with spending time on platforms only housed with unhappy people who complain all the time, and will spend my time on platforms where I can still find inspiration.

Normally I’d ask you to join me in this new approach, but I’m not going to this time. Use social media however you want to. It’s up to you. Far be it from me to preach that my way is the only way. It’s only my way.

My new approach will free up my time to do and focus on things that matter to me. It will make me less angry, less bitter, and more celebratory of the good stuff in my life that I’ve been too blind and distracted to see.

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HUMANITY, PERSONAL GROWTH

Kit Cummings: Seek first to understand before achieving progress

Joined in studio by Kit Cummings, the founder and president of the Power of Peace Project, and by my co-host Gareth J. Young.

Kit CummingsKit talked to us about his extraordinary work and what he has learned working in such challenging environments and offered us many wonderful lessons that point us towards an authentic, happy and fulfilling life and career including:

1. Our fear of the unknown causes us to build walls, and by building tunnels and bridges to our unknown, we can find greater happiness, joy and meaning;

2. If you learn to work with others, you can still do what you want to do, but you – and they – will be civil and life will be easier;

3. “You can’t get me to pick a side. I have convictions, but even those convictions are changeable if I walk with you.”

4. “We fear what we don’t know or don’t understand.”

About Kit Cummings:

Kit Cummings is an international speaker, teacher and award winner author with the gift to evoke goose bumps, laughter and tears in his audiences. Whether he is speaking to large corporations, small businesses, non-profits, churches, schools – or even the toughest prisons in America, Kit spreads his energy-filled message of power, potential and positive change through his heartfelt and provocative seminars. Kit has spoken to tens of thousands of people all over the world.

This episode originally published on A New Business Mindset, an intrepid.MEDIA production.

Find Kit Cummings’ most recent book here:

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